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7/31/09

I pray my lfie was just a dream.

So last night I was listening to manson religiously until I went to bed. My subconscious (and definitely conscious) desires for him definitely got me all worked up.

The thing is, is that I had the most depressing dream of him last night. (Although, nothing was depressing about the dream, the only upsetting part was that I woke up..)

I wish I could have went into a coma and stayed there forever- but regardless, Me and Manson happened to be dating. It all started when I would be near a carnival (I was around one yesterday) and then I managed to see his office (idk?) and then I went inside what looked like a normal office (for whatever reason). I went inside, and he was there. (I don't know what he looked like, I only saw the black hair, no manson makeup or anything.) He said he's been reading my mind through a ring he was wearing. Anything I said or did, he would know. He then gave me this ring, so that I could talk right to him. (It happened to be a plastic, keyboard type thing, really odd) So then I went on a few carnival rides with him, a rollercoaster or two, and then we went back inside to his office where he showed me his new album. It was extremely pop, it reminded me of lady gaga, but it was still fucking amazing. (I cant believe I remember it.) He then had all of his band merchandise, even with black skinny jeans, that were ripped all down the back of my leg, exposing a bit of my but.) (I remember looking in the mirror because i actually love those jeans now) and then I just walked around his store, and he wasnt there. I went inside his actuall home (behind his office? and his office actually had buisness cards that said "Marilyn Manson".. I remember this all quite vividly) So I went into his home, and he told me he loved me, and there was nobody else, and I believed it. (He wasn't lying or anything, teehee) And then the scene changed, and everything dissapeared. (I think I woke up, I probably heard something)
I then got really depressed and I think I may have whispered" NOOOOOOOOOOOO". So then i forced myself back to sleep, and I was searching for my long lost love. I ended up finding im in jail, and he told me he knows everything thats happening, and we'll be together soon (Im wearing the communicative ring in the dream still). So I kept trying to get close to him, but then I wake up again. I once again force myself to sleep, and I find myself in a school, where boys are breaking things, and beating eachother up. (I watched an interview about manson saying he'd pick on himself if he was someone else) but then I found him as he re-inacted a childhood memory I read about (in his autobiography), and then I talked to him, and told him, please, stay, meet me at (insert an illegible, and unheard of location) and we can be together. (I told him basically to go into a different memory, and I would find him. It reminds me of the time travellers wife.) So, as I was preparing to surprise him in his memory, and make everything romantic (I was gathering flowers, and confetti, and sparkly things.) (Symbolizing, well, you know) and then, as I was ready to go into the next memory, I woke up for the final time. It feels so real though, maybe he'll reach out to me and the concert and marry me on stage. *sigh.
FML.

jnssa stoma

ps. I think I need to get laid.

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