See how easily these figures fold.

I can tell theres something pulling me down today, some negativity. All I wish to do is spin off into the void, to fall to the bottom. I could lay in my bed all day waiting for days, not eating, not sleeping, just staring off- into the grey- the beautiful, stunning grey. Thats what I feel today, useless. I know its just one of those things, so I wont think too much of it. In all reality, I have so much to live for. I've been thinking of the people who have let me down lately, and its horrible to see how they've murdered themselves to fit in. One of my greatest friends, who I trusted very much, is now a ghost amongst friends, living for the popularity and the fast cars. This used to be somebody who wanted to learn, who wanted to grow and try to understand. Where did he go? Sometimes it can be hard for me to move on, sometimes I just dont want to accept this mediocre life i've been living, I don't want to come to the conclusion that everything so far has been a waste of time. All I have to show for, is myself and how I have grown. I have not saved a soul, I have not tamed one either. Perhaps finding oneself is the greatest deed one could do in their lives, but I'm not a fan of sophilism. (I went through this on my myspace, except now, instead of feeling connected to manson, I feel connected to one other, who knows who they are.) I don't have to talk to him at all, but I can feel him, in my chest, in my throat, trying to come out. During days like theses, or hours, I should say, I just feel like finding the cure to these heavy eyelids. I wish there was something to do about this negativity, all this exhaustion. I have been warned about this on several occasions, perhaps it is time for me to find a solution. I know there is so much I don't understand about the energies around me, and I know there is so much shoved into my subconscious. There isn't a moment in my life that I wouldn't want to figure it all out- its bittersweet. (Perhaps the chase is better then the catch?) Lucky for me, it will be decades before I could even imagine answering all of my questions. Perhaps I will just nap for a little while.

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