Heroine is so Passé .

So today was rather relaxing, (hello, malibu) and I realized I cant handle a small glass of 21%. (I used to drink appleton, hello 75.5%!, it used to take me three or four shots to get BUZZED! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?) anyways, I went shopping today (of course) and bought a cute new backpack, and i'm going to buy myself a stunningly beautiful fitted winter coat for special occasions. (discounted, of course, by vitos daughter, who works there!) So anyways, i'm uber tired and yes, i am so girly. (I know your going to make fun of me tonight. i've been asking for it ALL DAY) anyways, i blog for a reason- to rant and to write things that hint at your existence, so you can make fun of my references later. ANYWAYS, none of my shortshorts fit anymore. NONE of them. they are all terribly loose at the waist, so i have to wear a belt. and it doesnt fit at my bum anymore either. I don't HAVE a bum anymore. Eating properly made me lose all my junk in the trunk, now i cant bootyshake! bawhhahw.


jnssa stoma