The World was Yelling at me Today

It was reminding me of what was important. It blew up its skies, it made me look, it made me breathe all over again. Today, I felt unnaturally welcoming, I felt vulnerable, but I felt invincible. Today, I had nothing to hide whatsoever. Anything I would touch, would turn to gold, to a stunning, unbreakable metal of purity. I didn't lie all those months ago, and I'm not lying now. I can feel you, above everybody else. Your breathing and beating with my cells, every minute, of every day, of every hour. These months don't matter. I don't feel completely useless anymore, because I know everything is happening for a stunningly beautiful reason. I just need to open up my eyes, and stay close to my roots. I need my thirst quenched, but you know that already. I'm just a shell, walking and bumping to a beat, I left my body years ago. I'm smiling ridiculously at the sky. I had it all wrong- I don't think i'm waiting to leave. I'm waiting for myself to come back to earth- and until i am somewhere favourable, i wont be back- i sometimes come back and visit, but only for a few brief moments. i'm supposed to be looking for clues, to make that connection between body and soul. i have to convince myself, wherever i am, that its worth it to come back. i'm afraid i just may take off someday, and leave this shell of mine to suffer. live my days, here, searching constantly.i crave loyalty, but i, myself have never been one to be loyal. how could i demand that from anybody but myself? i remember all those lonely days, where all i would do is search for answers, and i would cry and shriek when i would come back empty handed. those days, will still be around. it's so unfortunate, but at least it has been diagnosed. whether i search frantically or not, it doesn't matter. the answer will smash right into my face someday. i'll know it- whatever it is- when i see it. i just need to be patient, it will come to me. i will cry at its beauty, i will kneel in awe. i wont ever need to breathe again.