making love on the edge of a knife

today, well today was something else. getting downtown was annoying, a lot of oddness coming from viva, they delayed everywhere. i walked down the spadina walkway thingy, and a man was singing some lovely italian music, and i almost wanted to buy a cd, but hesitated because i didn't have much money. i had a lovely day with you. but they always are. i love how we kiss. ack, it pains me to think of it, because there's nothing i would rather do. (yeah, eat the cheese) and i still have your southern accent in my head (a indian cowboy eh?) there's a toronto store based on that actually, click here to check that shit out, AHAH. anyways, as usual, upon needing to leave, i got quiet, i get a little upset and sad, (but mask it well, sometimes) and headed on home, and the italian guy singing was there, and i had five bucks, so i bought a lovely album, he has a wonderful voice-- ill let you hear it soon-- so i got on the subway, and usually i bury myself in music, but this time i slept, and i tried to isolate myself from thinking about it too much, because it actually is only tuesday, and unfortunately, i have school to deal with tomorrow. i slept on the bus too, and when i finally got to my stop, i walked home. upon seeing the iron gate, i got angry, because so many people depend on that walkway to get around. but then i noticed that there was a new hole torn, and i was walking around with some odd happiness and a feeling of strength. strength to want to get out of here. strength, because i realize none of this matters. because i've been making my freedom, i've been releasing myself from the chains that were placed upon me here. the key has always been around my neck. it's always been available to me. the next few months will test my strength, and it will prove how badly i want to be out of here. how badly i want to be with you. it's not even about toronto anymore, because i would find inspiration in any city, in any country, knowing i have you to push me, to remind me, to make me gigglesnort and to create with me. (prepare to be my model for a majority of my photographical experiments-- sounds evil eh?). the only chain i will ever want by the summer, is one quite literally wrapped around my hands. (or yours)