I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.

Today was ridiculous. Absoloutely insane, really. I went to queen street with an old, (but always loved) friend, who I personally think is going to get closer to me again. We took the subway from yorkdale, to see that as we walked up Osgoode station, there was rain. We ran across the street to a starbucks, wasted about 30 minutes, asked them for a garabage bag so we could run to find an umbrella somewhere, and we did so! (In starbucks, I actually saw a poster for an event that made me DIE of laughter, in the best of ways) We ended up walking around, shopping and I even showed her my prom dress. (To be honest, its unfortunately too long, a little too flashy for prom, and the material doesn't look as nice in real life. I'm so depressed. I might still try it on or something, my heart still craves it. Its a one of a kind though, so it'll cost me.) I might look around at the Cat's Meow, and perhaps even in Buffallo, theres TONS I still have to check out before I actually decide. I just want to make sure it fits my personality. (As of right now, Bold but Simple, Confident, but not skanky, and Sophisticated with a touch of Mystery. Eh?)

As I was running tonight, I encountered the darkness and a feeling of void, and began crying. Crying for the things changing, crying for the things I want, crying for my past, crying for my future. It was really upsetting to run by my elementary school yard, where all the things in my life began evolving. I must say, back then, I used to be petrified. I don't think I would have expected myself to be like this. Who ever knows though? Personally I feel i'm a stronger person because of all the crap i've had to go through. All the people i've lost, so far, and all the people i'll have to deal with.

I also found some new tattoo ideas, such as, MXXXVII on my wrist (1037 in roman numerals) (I think it is very appropriate) and I cant wait to ge that as soon as humanely possible. One more year?

And lastly, I still am so glad to have you in my life. I've said it before, and i'll say it again, if you weren't here, I would have died. I would have hidden myself behind passionless acts of life, wasting away in somebodies cold, fat, arms. I would have grown up lonely, miserable and ignorant to all the beautiful people I'd meet. I assure you that none of them are as stunning and beautiful as you. Thank you.

jnssa stoma