Reasons to know a Lifeguard

1. We know mouth to mouth
2. We're good with our hands
3. we ALWAYS use protection!
4. We blow if you're being naughty. (whistles, eh?)
5. We can sit on a stand for hours at a time
6. We're used to having things in our mouth (whistles again, eh?)
7. We know how to properly use lotion
8. We're always wet
9. We have a wide assortment of toys to play with
10. We drink a LOT of fluids!

if those 10 aren't enough:

> Our uniforms are skimpy
> Our Motto is 'Go in Hard, Come out Wet'
> We know how to get your blood pumping
>Two of us can work on you at once
> We all are experts at mouth-to-mouth
> We know all the ways to stroke
> We're always ready to blow
> We like Front Drive or Rear Huggy
> We know when to straddle you and thrust
> We wont stop until the paramedics need to take you
> When one position doesn't work, we use another
> 2 WORDS : BAYWATCH RUN.
>save a whistle, blow a lifeguard.