Day 2!

So yesterday was quite lovely, I walked around the MET, went to see Picasso, van gogh, Monet, and i fell in love with a lot of modern pieces as well. i could have spent days in the goddamn place, but they only gave us about an hour or so. it was kind of insanely bizarre and surreal when i was staring at a Picasso, it felt unreal just walking on madison avenue also. i don't think it really hit me yet!

after walking around madison avenue, we walked through central park (briefly) and we then went to the natural history museum for an hour, then the rockefeller center, (where we got about three hours to walk around fifth avenue, which i can only describe as a spaced out queen street, like literally, tons of space and tons of stores (not so much independant boutiques, i would say thats found more on madison avenue)

i just see toronto when im walking around new york. we were comparing new jersey as vaughan, cause its not very far, and wasaga beach is the equivelant to the jersey shore. (haaaaaaa)

I then went to the top of the rock, (rockefeller lookout point) which was breathtaking, i went on an NBC studio tour and got to see the SNL set, which was, interesting but meh, and then we went to times square for an hour or so and chilled, then went to watch STOMP which was fucking sexy.

either then insane honking, there's a lot of nice people in NY, it's not the typical bitchy buisness people walking around (i havent seen it yet) and so far everybody is nice. but they aren't CHARMING. they're missing substance, so to speak.

usually people would want to move to new york after going, (my friend is actually going to live here in a year or so for school) but toronto is still the only place i'd be happy with. (i guess i'll just have to visit eeverywhere, no?)

anyways, today im going to see ground zero, hit a cruise and look at ellis island, more central park, maybe some more madison avenue, and then mamma mia, im pretty sure.


i miss you all!
i bought some I <3 NY shirts for everyone too!

Day 1!

Okay, so I said i wouldn't blog until I come back, but how can I really deney blogging while in NEW YORK?

Last night was fun, I was in a room with marlise, megan, and i think her name is julia or something, and then dave and a bunch of funny ass gr.11s came to hang out in our room and order a pizza.

I slept good, megan rolled over onto me, which is funny considering i literally didnt move, she was delirious so it was dfunny


today were going to a bunch of museums, times sqare, rockefeller plaza, tons of crap actually, and im quite thrilled
i already took around 200 pictures, i have room for about 2000 more (thankfully)

i barely spent any money, aside from food, so i still have a lovely amount to spend on embarassing gifts for all of you.


anyways, i miss you all, a LOT (yes, you too siby) but i'm so glad to be out of woodbridge, and im thrilled to be here, and i plan to squeeze every moment i can out of this trip (waking up early was a great idea)

ill blog again tomorrow morning (or maybe even tonight)

ps. alex, the computer wont let me view your blog cause theres too many sware words in it XD
i thought you would find that funny!

i'm going to new york with people who believe in doing there homework on the bus. i think that clarifies everything about how my new york experience will be: rolling my eyes, and shaking my head



anyways, im going to miss everyone! ill write you emails, ill try to do my best to get online, ill bring you all back something,




and Rahim,

uh, I LOVE YOU

July 28th, 2009

a reminder,

now that i know your here, i can sleep at night
even though my body aches for your touch
your deeper in me then you'll ever know

i'll be the rhythm, you'll be the beat

Today, angd tomorrow marks something wonderful and beautiful. It marks my departure for new york, it marks another month closer to the summertime, and my growth. It's harder then ever for me to speak, to express through my blog, specifically because now there's less time for reflection and more time needed for actually getting things done. Slowly, but surely. I need to do what is important right now, and thats finding my voice through photography (It doesn't really matter that my blog will slow down, it's not very important.) Everything else will attend to itself, naturally. Matters of money, a space, and of a more.. severe nature will attend to itself without any effort- the will and the desire is there, and at this point it's just a matter of time.

It's felt like time has gone by so slowly, but I remember telling you about New York months ago, that I might go, that it would be lovely, and although it will be odd to be without your voice for a few days, i really just need to get out of my life in woodbridge, even if its for a few days. It hasn't been an easy journey to get here, and it still wont be until i'm in my place, rent is taken care of, i have a job, and i'm in your bed. Until then, I will continue to be hungry, sleep deprived and running towards what I want, and what it is that i want has been consistent for months, and if you really think of it, years.

i still remember the first time we spent time away from eachother and i went to wasaga beach, and you were attending to work. i don't even think we heard eachother's voices at that point, but i just remember missing you, missing you like fucking crazy, but i remember telling you that i've always felt you there with me, that somehow you were closer then i could ever imagine, and that somehow, something thats been hidden inside of me was awoken by you, an insane catalyst of a million different things
and i don't make sence, and i ramble as usual
but it's always been the same, how i feel about you is always been the same, and it's only intensified. there's something about your laughter, your nature and your presence that gets me running, that gets me moving, whether it's literally, or getting my mind moving, or getting me the fuck away from woodbridge, you've been the person thats been the reason that i'm transforming from the girl i was into the woman that i want to be.

i remember the way i felt when we told eachother that we found eachother, and it's been a baseline to my day, it's been there to everything i've been doing, the subtle sound of a reminder of what is to come, and it's coming.

i have a feeling it's going to be an incredibly emotional trip to new york, i know i'll be crying in times square, i know i'll be thinking of the summer and all the beauty i'll witness in toronto and anywhere i else i eventually decide to travel to.

i told my philosophy teacher what i'm planning for the summer, and he's the first teacher who encouraged me, who understood that i needed to get away in order to grow and decide what i wanted, and it was quite lovely to hear something like that around this time. he didn't pull a 'concerned teacher' mode, but he got it. and he told me to not tell my mom that he approves, he doesn't want to be hunted down. (sounds familiar)

i'm going to new york for a purpose, and thats to make a picture that expresses my mood and what i'm seeing down there. you don't take a picture you know, you make it. you compose it.


i'll save the blogging for when i return to woodbridge, i'll email and facebook whatever is going on.

im going to miss you babe, but i'll tell you all about that tonight

















Each day gets more and more like the last day
Still I can see it coming
While I'm standing in the river drowning
This could be my chance to break out
This could be my chance to say goodbye
At last it's finally over
Couldn't take this town much longer
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now I'm ready to be free

So here I am it's in my hands
And I'll savor every moment of this
So here I am alive at last
And I'll savor every moment of this

Won't you think I'm pretty
When I'm standing top the bright lit city
And I'll take your hand and pick you up
And keep you there so you can see it
As long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there
We'll drink and dance the night away

omnes te moriturum amant

i just watched ANOTHER house episode where a dudes girlfriend slept with his dad who was twice her age. bbbaha.
im going to miss you so much

so im going to bring my gameboy and play pokemon. i'll pretend i'm 12 again to get your mojo going.

my cousin lala just drove to montreal, stayed for 30 minutes and then came home. we're so alike, it's not even funny.

holy shit, apparently its going to go to 28 in new york on saturday or something
if it hits 30 degrees, your in trouble

now im not going to bring my laptop, but i will indeed bring my htc touch that has wifi (the phone that i used when i was grounded to get online)

apparently the hotel has a computer or so, and wifi, so i can at least email you at night

Intinerary

WEDNESDAY


Board Bus at 7:30AM
Stop at Crossings Outlet Mall in Pennsylvania

Get to the Fairfeild Inn by 9 (click here to view inn)
Sleep!




THURSDAY
Wake up at 7:45 for breaky

Go to the Metropolitan Museum at 9:30Am

Walk around 5th Avenue, Rockefeller Center, Trump Towers, St. Patricks Cathedral, ect from 11:30 to 1ish (and get lunch)

American Museum of Natural History and the Rose Center

NBC studtio tour at 3:30

Rockefeller Plaza at 5:15, dinner/wander in times square till 8

Brodway Show, "STOMP" at Orpheum Theatre
Sleep!





FRIDAY
Breaky at 8:45

"Cruise" down hudson river to ellis island, immigration centre, world financial centre, at 11AM, get lunch, ect

Battery Park and Clinton Castle, Ground Zero, Financial District, Trinity Church at 3:30

Eat at 6:30 at theatre district

Mamma Mia Broadway Show @ 8:00

Sleep!




SATURDAY

Breaky at 8:15

Central Park at 10am, explore till 11:45

go to St. Patricks cathedral for mass until 12

explore greenwich village, soho, chinatown, little italy, washington square park til 6:15

NYC comedy show at 6:15

Dinner at Planet Holywood



SUNDAY

GO HOME!




honestly, its going to fly by.
i dont think were doing much shopping at all, which is good!
i just want to find an american apparel at some point

i saw this old hairy man walk into the pool with just a speedo on.
i just planned out your next outfit eh?

i just found out at a meeting that new york will be a little more expensive then planned. dinner isn't included in the price, we have to go and get it on our own.

so, i just wont eat! bahah

as much as im going to enjoy this trip, its shitty timing. i wish i could have went when i wasn't trying to save money like a nazi. i'm still okay though, im on the right track, but spending money gets me nervous now.




ps. there was a 36 year old painting in my philosophy class, it was made in 1974. i started laughing because i just remembered your turning 37 this year. time is flying by eh?

I just fell in love with some photographers on DA

here's some of there stuff
usually i don't like most photographers on DA because they just want to please the crowd, but i really like these shots (from two different photographers)
(you can also see the similar themes)



absolutely stunning
i need my baby
my camera depresses me


i've also fell in love with a new technique/process (the photos above are photoshopped versions of it, but its still very authentic looking through editing)

A lith print is a photographic printing process that uses standard black-and-white, photographic paper with lithographic developer (often heavily diluted standard devoloper) to produce a print with dark shadows and soft, bright highlights. Tones, colors, and subtle hues different from standard black and white print can be achieved.

i'm decorating my place like this. mhm.

karma at caesars

me: hey angelo! your going to serve me tomorrow! thats karma for not getting me a drink when i asked you too! uhuh!
*dude walks by, hits me in the head with a chair
me: UHHHH IM BRAINDEAAAYDDD

beautiful, as always

HUMBERT HUMBERT STREET.

this was one of the best days i've had in ridiculously long time. i miss you like crazy already, and i loved every little goddamn thing about today. (especially all the times you tripped) (and the massive amount of cops)



i love you like fucking crazy
...uh, I LOVE YOU, I LOOVE YOU

1037

f you were to follow woodbine street with your finger, completely north, follow it up the DVP, and it turns into woodbine again, and ends at my dock.

im pretty crazy about this place, i like it a lot! click here

hey there delilah, whats it like in new york city?

Okay so, i went to parent teacher interviews, and things actually went really smooth. My philosophy teacher told me that he really likes to have me as a student, i provide the class with some oddness, and even though i don't do any homework, he still likes to have me around. In addition, when my mom asked about my attendance, he told her that it's not an issue, *PHEW*
and my italian teacher said, oh my! jennifer improved so much! shes never late, shes always attending class, she just needs to stay on track of things.
bahahhaha, amazeballs

in addition, new york is pretty much settled, i got replacements for work, and i found out a lot of people who i used to be close with are going, so perhaps its a good way to reconnect, eh?

i needed something like this, really.

i've always wanted to go to new york also, so i can sing hey there delilah at times square.
(hey there delilah, whats it like in new york city? i'm a thousand miles away but girl, tonight you look so pretty, times square can't shine as bright as you, i sware its true)

i'm telling you, ill be crying at times square like a fool
a happy fool

She's not broken
She's just a baby
But her boyfriend's like a dad, just like a dad
Draw those flames that burn before him
Now he's gonna find a fight, gonna cool the bad

You know that I love you boy
Hot like Mexico, rejoice
At this point I gotta choose
Nothing to lose

im best buddies with the guidance councillor now eh?

anyways, i have parent teacher interviews tonight after work
fun?

anyways anyways anyyyywyays, she might take my stuff again tonight, but i doubt it, but you never know

i miss you, and im thrilled that i can see you tomorrow

uh, how can i say this delicately?

I'M GOING TO FUCKING NEW YORK NEXT WEEK.
THIS TIME, NEXT WEEK, I WILL BE IN NEW YORK

the deposits my mom gave are non-refundable, and we only have to pay about 300 dollars more.

the only shitty part is that i have to miss three days of work
and i have to use some of my own money for spending money
(not that im going to spend much, knowing that fact)

i didn't really want to go because i wanted to save like a nazi, but this just means i have to take shifts a little more often now, thats all.

I CANT BELIEVE IM BEING FORCED TO GO TO NEW YORK
GOD, I HATE THIS



(bahahahhahha)

wifi on my cellphone works again :)
WOOOOOO

Lala

I talked to lala today, (my first cousin on my dads side, the only family member i actually like and WANT to talk to) just told me she broke up with her druggie boyfriend, who was like insanely leading her in a bad direction (she was stealing thousands from her dad, doing some serious drugs, ect) and apparently she moved into her third cousins house or something like that, and she met a guy who's perfect for her now. apparently he's chubby. regardless, she said that he made her so happy that she's clean now, so i guess it's all good. i hope it stays that way, i miss her so much. she's a lot like me, were a little crazy when we get angry or frustrated (not a good crazy) and we really get emotionally involved into everything we do. she's also a scorpio, and i do really well with scorpio's. (mhhhhhhm)

im not working this friday, so i might go downtown randomly with her, ill just take her somewhere random, somewhere chilled and just catch up. i haven't been able to sit down and just talk to her for almost a year and a half, if not more.

the philosophy retreat was just bizzare. usually these things aren't cult like-
at one point they seperated us into three categories based on our religious beleifs, the catholics, whoever doesn't believe in god, and the unsure people. it was ridiculous. they then began to ask us why we dont see the light, stupid crap like that
they then tried to feed me french fries
those immoral bastards!


yeah, lame day but it was funny
they showed us this video which was a weird interpretive dance that involved jesus and some random chick, it was really strange

so, my mom called me and she let me know that shes severely pissed at me again. (methinks guidance apt?)
anyways, today was beyond hillarious. im in a wonderful mood as well. (i guess its cause of the energy of all the stoners or something)
and my philosophy teacher called me cute bahahahah

someday you'll be fine, yes, i'll be just fine

So
sosososo
i already wrote a damn blog, and it vanished for some reason, so ill start again

okay

so i posted a couple more ads for finding a place in july (so far they're all basements in shitty locations anyways) but i've been looking at ads that are for places available in mid july. (theres this cute place available july 14th at gerrard and church for 700 a month-- it's a shoebox, but it has black and white tiles, grooooovy) I think i'm more interested in location then space though, considering I wont need much space, nor do i HAVE many things to bring anyways. Big windows aren't necessary yet considering that so far, nothing in my price range is above ground, and if it is, it's in the middle of nowhere. I figure that when I can eventually afford a place like that, i'll take advantage of it, but for now, why not just do some OUTDOOR photography. Whats the point of moving to TORONTO if i'll be photographing inside as soon as I get there?

Anyways, today I also went to guidance with my mom. He basically told her theres still a chance i'd get in, yadayadayada, and he also told me that I should at least do well so that I keep my doors open for whatever I do decide to do.

My mom then went on a rant that she will only tolerate university, blahblah, that im useless otherwise, and he basically said, "well, perhaps your blind to the fact your putting too much pressure on her. I personally think that you should just back off, literally, BACK OFF" (he said it all sternly and everything, it was fucking amazing, and I was really happy about that)

he also suggested that we should go to councilling because theres a lot of tension, and perhaps it will help with how we communicate, so now my mom wants me to come with her to see her psychologist. (im really not happy about that, i was never fond of the lady much)

and then he said i should go for a physical. I'm not sure what he was insinuating, because he suggested I had low iron (my mom said im always tired and up to no good or something), and I told him I donated blood not too long ago, and my blood was fine, and then he suggested it again, so perhaps he's insinuating i'm depressed? (and thats resonable considering i'm showing no 'motivation')(none that he knows of, anyways)


and the last thinggggg

I'm going for a school trip on MAY 20TH to college and ossington. We're going to CHIN radio station, then to a pizza place to experience "italian culture"

We'll get free time after lunch, which is hillarious because its pretty much a waste of a school day.


i'm also going out with my mom tonight because she needs an outfit for the birthday party at caesars for sunday, so i expect a lot of bullsht, or perhaps even a decent conversation.


AND

i miss you, and i cant wait for friday.



and i just saw a notification that you posted two blogs the other day, and thats what i was reffering to in my other entry. i'm confused too.

Id redecorate the walls with your inner thoughts,but im afraid its the wrong shade of red.I have sadistic urges and I dont want to take it out on you

i'm going to start my own cleanse- mostly liquids, fruits, veggies and oatmeal
and the only days ill eat more carbs is when i exercise in the weight room (im doing that tomorrow as well)

i figure if im going to be sleep deprived and crazy, i might as well go all out. usually i have an outstanding amount of self control when i'm sleep deprived.

anyways, im going to work a little earlier today, (at 4) and i'm going to be there till 8sih. im hillariously exhausted and im going to go home soon. (i have spare last period, AND my bio teacher doesn't care that im not in his class)

so ill go home and relax.
mhm.

http://www.theloftgroup.ca/thelofts.html
might be interesting

sexy ass liberty loft

the ceilings in this place are fucking incredible.

this loft is pretty sexy for ME but the location is atrocious, and it's just a tad over what id spend.

Still Alive, but TIRED

blogger is being weird and i cant view your blog! (figures, the first blog you post in a while and it doesn't work for me!) i don't know what's up with that, but regardless, add my inlackofcreativity account to your permissions list!

ps. i'm still alive, im pretty sure my mom didn't hide my laptop well, therefore i'll know where it is and i'll get to use it afterschool. :)

she's also calling my guidance councellor, and possibly my philosophy teacher, so maybe she'll get off my back when she finds out i 'can still go to university'


innnnnn addition, i've been posting ads on kijiji, well, i did on friday, basically saying that im a student looking for a place in mid july, references available upon request, yadayadayada, i put a price range around 600-800, washroom, one bedroom, ect, and i got two replies, and they're both basements, one's somewhere on dupont street, and the other is in markham. (basements suck balls)
(is this not a good idea?)

good to know people reply though! (and ill post another one today)
i figure i might as well do something like that since i wont be able to search kijiji or craigslist properly.
aaaaand it gives me a headstart.