3/31/10
I forgot to mention it, but I saw Joey today, and he reminded me of all of the good days in bressani. (And how much everybody there sucked except him)
I bought blood red lipstick. Buahahah! My moms making me buy everything I need with my own money. I wonder if she'll realize that I can handle it, and she'll let me leave easily this summer. Yes, that was a joke. AHAHAHaHaH
vito makes me ridiculously nervous when he talks-- about anything. Ughdhbfedjfedne.
I'm officially going to niagara saturday! Woo!
so for some reason, i thought back to this conversation that vito had on the phone with some random woman.
the woman called our house by accident, it was the wrong number
and according to vito, the phone call went like this
(and keep in mind, they probably stalled and talked about work or something vaguely and briefly before that)
(keep in mind, they didn't know eachother-- she thought that he was her husband/and vito thought she was my mom)
woman: hey honey
vito: hey, how was work today?
woman: it was the same, same old. im heading home now
vito: perfect, i'm getting dinner ready now
woman: wonderful, make sure you put the oven to 450
vito: oven? i thought we were making pasta?
woman: no, i already had the meat prepared from last night, you wanted it, remember?
vito: uh, no, you told me to make pasta only an hour ago
woman:.... john?
vito: ...... wrong number
how SAD is THAT? how cant you recognize your HUSBAND/WIFE? how do you not notice their expression, their voice, - how everything is so different? and how lame are your conversations normally? is this a template to a daily conversation or something?
what would have happened if they were making the same dish? i wonder where the conversation would have went to. interesting eh?
im off to work tonight at 8. be back by 9:30.
(expect another threatening call from the city of vaughan about a case of elderly abuse involving a teenager)
oh my GOD, a canon EOS 40 is on kijiji for 650. thats fourty times sexier then my camera. get it? ahha. the regular price is somewhere around 1700$
I would go to the weight room today but it wouldn't be appropriate because everybody is away, and I'd be there alone with polonio. And the room is locked. And It would look real bad coming out all sweaty. AHAHAHAH.
They played chiodos on the radio this morning. Woo!
I'm also convinced that the only way I could enjoy my day here, is if I was stoned.
3/30/10
sammy and my cousin's new puppy are going to have a playdate when we have easter dinner, whenever that will be! im so excited for them :D
making love on the edge of a knife
today, well today was something else. getting downtown was annoying, a lot of oddness coming from viva, they delayed everywhere. i walked down the spadina walkway thingy, and a man was singing some lovely italian music, and i almost wanted to buy a cd, but hesitated because i didn't have much money. i had a lovely day with you. but they always are. i love how we kiss. ack, it pains me to think of it, because there's nothing i would rather do. (yeah, eat the cheese) and i still have your southern accent in my head (a indian cowboy eh?) there's a toronto store based on that actually, click here to check that shit out, AHAH. anyways, as usual, upon needing to leave, i got quiet, i get a little upset and sad, (but mask it well, sometimes) and headed on home, and the italian guy singing was there, and i had five bucks, so i bought a lovely album, he has a wonderful voice-- ill let you hear it soon-- so i got on the subway, and usually i bury myself in music, but this time i slept, and i tried to isolate myself from thinking about it too much, because it actually is only tuesday, and unfortunately, i have school to deal with tomorrow. i slept on the bus too, and when i finally got to my stop, i walked home. upon seeing the iron gate, i got angry, because so many people depend on that walkway to get around. but then i noticed that there was a new hole torn, and i was walking around with some odd happiness and a feeling of strength. strength to want to get out of here. strength, because i realize none of this matters. because i've been making my freedom, i've been releasing myself from the chains that were placed upon me here. the key has always been around my neck. it's always been available to me. the next few months will test my strength, and it will prove how badly i want to be out of here. how badly i want to be with you. it's not even about toronto anymore, because i would find inspiration in any city, in any country, knowing i have you to push me, to remind me, to make me gigglesnort and to create with me. (prepare to be my model for a majority of my photographical experiments-- sounds evil eh?). the only chain i will ever want by the summer, is one quite literally wrapped around my hands. (or yours)
for years, there's been this passage near blue willow park, that leads through a little man made pond area, that goes through a broken fence, into a shopping plaza. by going through this, you save a lot of time by avoiding the residential area, and it's much nicer. for years, the city has been repairing the wire fence, and we keep breaking it down. they even made the fence out of wood, and we tore that fucker down! recently, they installed an iron fence- quite literally, infront of the area that we keep ripping apart to make our passage. even if we were to break the fence, the iron gate i should say, will block us from getting through. so what we did this time, we all squeeze between the wooden fence and the new iron gate, and we walk parallel to the fence, where there are stones and whatnot, and we tore a new hole. and if they fix it, we'll find new ways. because we can't be contained.
you can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
-roald dahl
The bus made us get off at york cause its out of service- I have to wait for another one. I'm at york! Ack! Ick!
The graduating ceremony is in october. Its like they expect me to come back here or something. Ahahh.
3/29/10
In your room
Where time stands still
Or moves at your will
Will you let the morning come soon
Or will you leave me lying here
In your favourite darkness
Your favourite half-light
Your favourite consciousness
Your favourite slave
im exhausted
exhausted
EXHAUSTED
so much walking
walking walking
...american apparel isnt doing good eh? theyre trying to avoid bankruptcy so much
they should lower there prices a bit, so more people can afford it, so people would buy much more
i would
uhuh
im tired
goodnight
It feels like everyone in here gets brainwashed by evil doctors. I hate medical buildings. Doctors here are stuck up.
I'm hanging out at wendys now, drinking tea. I went to the weight room too, and I'm beyond exhausted. My ass hurts. (They REALLY work it ahaha) but walking feels lovely. I still have a way to go.
3/28/10
im exhausted. the jeep thing took so goddamn long, and we didnt finish. taking the roof off was easy, but were convinced theres something seriously wrong with the soft cover- the mechanics of it don't make sence, things almost broke when we were sliding them up (it should be effortless) we think its a manufacture issue, they definitely fucked something up. im so sleepy.
but anyways, im feeling good, mike really pissed me off today, he started jokingly calling me lazy and that i wasnt working (it gets to me because my mom says that- my eye was twitching, no fooling-- i was really mad) and then the lane fell on his foot and he got splashed, so that was karma, but then he got a water bottle and soaked my hair! is he NUTS?! i really wasn't in the mood for it. but anyways, he kept lecturing me, telling me that ill be old and miserable, that ill never have money, ect, he told me stories of people who he knew that had to move back in with their parents cause they got into a car accident-- crap like that, at the end of the shift i snapped at him, just snapped, and asked him what he was trying to accomplish. he tried to justify it with saying hes just trying to look out for me and let me see all the angles, and i told him that i have been-- and he interrupted saying, don't friends do that for you? and i yelled saying, friends trust your own judgement-- and dont lecture you. i felt bad for being angry the whole shift, but really, too bad. its the last sunday of doing this. and this is the last session of teaching. this is the last few months ill have to spend in woodbridge. what i love the most, is that as i was leaving, 'kiss you when its dangerous' came on the radio. i started smiling and laughing, because somehow, something about you always comes in to relieve my anger, my misery and frustration when i need it the most. you know what i want to say at right now.
Monthly cheese
8 months eh? I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat to get to this point (yes, right now) I don't think I've ever been happier. I have you to thank for it- it's completely because of you. We have so much we haven't done yet, and I would wait so much longer then 3 more months to get it. Hell, its worth waiting three years. Were barely scratching the surface, we both know it, but If were finding happiness now, through everything, all the bullshit, (because you know that despite all the exhaustion of our days, finding eachother at night, and ending our nights with eachother is absolutely wonderful), imagine what we will be. There aren't any words for it, and there doesn't need to be.
Soon enough, darling.
3/27/10
All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly, I should add, because that frenzy of mutual possession might have been assuaged only by our actually imbibing and assimilating every particle of each other's soul and flesh; but there we were, unable even to mate as slum children would have so easily found an opportunity to do so.
A completely new and complicated swimming program starts in the fall, and I'm not gunna be here to deal with it :)
3/26/10
you know, i really hope your not stressing yourself out too much today.
please try to slow things down
(yes, i'm in one of those - i'm concerned because i care - moods)
(and i don't want you too delirious tonight)
the most beautiful cover, i always listen to it
(i posted it before, but, reminders are nice)
by the way, i feel much better
so don't worry about me,
i just needed some cereal and oj
and im going to the movies with alexie tonight i think, something simple, im still not completely feeling 100% so downtown isnt a good idea.
i miss you babe
fridays always suck without you
the location is shitty, but it's actually niceish. massively high ceilings, higher then the other one --- click here - nothing on craigslist this time
My iron/ blood sugar was so low this morning, I felt sickish. Not enough veggies/fruit yesterday, but today ill let myself eat cereal/bread to get myself alive again.
3/25/10
they're holding hands!
i'm actually quite happy for them- not so much wanting to kill her anymore.
"After they worked things out, Manson was quoted by the Herald Sun as saying that Wood has helped him be a better person.
"Me being me at my best is what I need to be," he said at the time. "That really paid off because I'm back with Evan."
Wood, for her part, described Mason to Elle magazine in 2007 as a "lovely, really human and just amazing. It may surprise you just how healthy and loving our relationship is."
i approve.
so i went to the weight room again today and had an INSANE workout. the head of the gym department (the guy who got polonio into shape-- polonio used to be a jolly kinda fat) mr. raponi worked us so much harder then sal did yesterday. we focused on the legs-- we went on the bikes then did some muscle conditioning-- sal, cris and i rotated bikes cause there was only two- the odd person out would do jumping jacks for a minute, then wed rotate on the bikes-- and then every five to six minutes in doing that, wed do muscle conditioning with raponi. i must say, polonio has a frikkin awesome ass. he was working out in front of me. i felt like smacking it ahaha. anyways, while i was working out, polonio yelled "hey jenn it sounds like your filming a porno back there--HAHAHHAHHHAHAHAA" cause my breathing was all funny. he also said that i drink so much coffee cause i want to spark up my libido, so i can have babies and get child support from several fathers. I LOVE HIM. HES HILLARIOUS. and then ALL THREE TEACHERS who were there, (there was a lady drama teacher, raponi, and yes, polonio) started asking me, 'how the HELL did you date Fausto? manboobs?!? and then they made fun of me for it and called him a dog.
I then went to FAC. and FAC was absolutely wonderful, i really like mrs. woods-- she started a blogspot for FAC, and its called FACBRESSANI
ahhahaha
great day
im not too tired
im glad i got that sleep yesterday, i definitely needed it
Flowers are the sex organs of a plant.
Future line: 'oh why thank you for that beautiful bouquet of sex organs'
The new catch phase at bressani is 'cheesed'
'Dude she's so cheesed'
(She's burnt, stupid, horrible, ect)
Basically a negative connotation.
I'm bad in italian class because I combine italian and french. Example:
"Il y a cinque persona dans mia famiglia"
Yeah I suck.
3/24/10
so cruelly you kissed me
yeah, im so going swimming too. i wish i had underwater speakers, that would be awesome.
i want to start emptying out- ive been eating fruit and veggies all day
and i feel good, i feel as if my body is weak but everything else is finally becoming strong again
I went to the weight room with cris and sal-- sal REALLY works you, I was swearing at him. I ran 2k on the elliptical thing as a warm up, then sal killed me with arm and ab workouts.
Going to the weight room unless Alexie comes. (I would like to see her but I don't blame her for staying home and sleeping, aaha)
3/23/10
download waltz real slow
click here!
Six Truths of Life:
1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that the first truth is a lie and feel superior because they can do it.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
Unintentional Anger
this is just a rant, it's pointless, but deal with it
okay, so the picture below, tell me, what do you think of it from an artistic perspective? its a young boy trying to be sexy, he made it for myspace, (he was MASSIVELY FAMOUS for this picture) 
it's nothing INSANELY special right? I mean, whatever, cute kid, maybe i would have drooled when i was 11, but he posted this on his deviant art and he got over 8000 FAVOURITES. 8000 LONELY TEENAGE GIRLS WHO WANT SEX.
HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY IT
his deviant art, which are mainly self portraits such as these (he has gotten some other models, and he has done some interesting, but very unoriginal work- and hes gotten over 4 MILLION DEVIANT ART VIEWERS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD
So you just have to be a sexy man and your suddenly Jesus? Was Jesus sexy? Cause that would explain a LOT.
sexy people can go fuck a duck. quack.
Carbs with fat in it get directly deposited under the skin, so BEWARE.
& if you don't eat carbs, youl produce a hormone that helps you burn fat
I slept for 30 minutes on the desk, then switched positions and slept for another 30 minutes. (Awesome way to make class go by quickly)
Prom costs 70$ per person! More reasons to ditch. Although my mom might make me go.
Nobody is here today. They're on polonio's trip. Which means polonio isn't here, which means no weight room. Lame.
3/22/10
< 3 craig owens
i'm about to get on a plane to new york city
i'm about to leave this town that's left me feeling so empty
its just me and my guitar and my words
yeah, together we can take on the world
now i've been dreaming bout this since i was young
to get on that stage, i'll show them just where i'm from
and i'll show i'm only alright when i'm up there
i'm only me when i'm up there
as i pack my things i check both my empty pockets
and there's still nothing there
no, there's still nothing there
i turn to my left i see my mother crying
she says to me "why couldn't you have been a doctor or a lawyer?"
i say "come on, you know we've been through this before"
i turn and smile to her as i walked out her door
and i said i'm only alright when i'm up there
i'm only me when i'm up there
I ended up going to the pool for a replacement shift. I'm tired, I should have napped. I'm going to do a daily photo album on facebook I think.
I'm also going to start going to the weight room with polonio during spare.
I'm excited for next weeks cleansing.
Oh and alexie, our locker Is pimped up. They kicked me out of my other locker. So now there's a misfit and manson poster, and a picture of Rahim at the top. :) (you have no choice-- we're letting you sleep on a futon at our place)
Ihateeschool.
I did bring it! I did bring it!
Anyways,
Everybody here brought there nintendo ds's to play pokemon, they brought these poke devices too. Its kind of awkward because they're the same age as me. And somewhat entertaining.
3/21/10
knitting mill, gotham, feather factory are lovely. the knitting mill almost killed me. oh oh and the massey harris loft aaaand the tannery loft aaaaaaaaand and toy factory loft (ive been adding to this slowly)
I went "WOAH"
I DID
but theres a roomate there already, theyre looking for another one
but look around here anyways
it made me go WOAH
clicky here
i also have a feeling you were talking about this place the other night, a very strong feeling
this place(yes, click here to see the ad) made me cry.
'You seem like dominating type in bed. You'd probably do some damage with your legs. But you probably would want to be dominated, a few slaps here and there, hair pulling, being choked. You'd want to be the naughty little girl' - mike (this is what he talks about while he 'guards')
So I ended up spending WAY more then I imagined (the camera I bought ended up costing 150.00 on sale, but its a 12 mp sony) and I know they're not 12 working pixels and that its a gimic (my canon 500d has 12.9 pixels or something) but anyway, my sony- its black, and sexy, and rechargable (the other ones weren't, that's why I didn't get a cheaper one) and I got my 16gig memory card for 59 so I'm happy about that. (So I guess my cameras memory card breaking sucked, yes, but resulted in me getting a new camera)
okay
now god KNOWS i hate lexar memory cards, but the exact one that broke is half off at best buy. if i were to buy it anywhere else id be over 100, but at best buy it should come out around 75. if i were to buy the 32 gig, id be over 160 dollars, which isnt quite affordable right now. however, a nikon coolpix is on sale for 70 bucks, and thats a very very good camera (everybody knows i hate nikon, but whatever)
so before work im going to hit up best buy and be a little dirty sale whore. ill do anything for sales. *feels like a whore*
anyways,
im up so early because sammy got up and so did my mom, and while i was lounging around in my room, i got a lovely call from alexie! I LOVE YOU BBY I MISS YOU.
and that made my day.
last night i couldnt sleep well AT ALL
which sucked
i probably went to bed around 3:30, 4, then i woke up at 5:30, an yeah, shit kept being lame from there.
but its okay.
im not as annoyed by the fact that im going to school tomorrow as i thought id be.
3/20/10
There's a new guy working at caesars with a really strong indian accent. Yes, I'm thinking of all those times you'd speak to me with one. Yes, I'm being reminded of you constantly. Yes, yes, yes
stupid fucking cheap ass memory cards from fucking china-- i took a bunch of pictures i REALLY liked, and then my memory card, fucking BROKE
yeah
i took it out, and put it into my mac, and for some reason, it didnt work, so i looked at it, and the plastic chipped off!
PLASTIC HUH
FUCKERS
MOTHER FUCKING SONS OF ASSHOLES
I SHOULD SUE THEM
I LOVED THOSE PICTURES
NOW THEYRE GONE
GONE
GONE GONE GONE GONE
AND THE BEST PART IS, NO MORE PICTURES TILL I GET A NEW CARD
FUCKERS
FUCK MY DUCK
QUACK
WHATEVER,
those pictures were too sexy anyways
pull your panties down a little more, get on your knees, on all fours
its been raining all day long, i feel the cold, its coming on
where is my sun to keep me warm?
ive been waiting on my own
HTRK
I just bought this DIRTY album off of itunes. I fucking LOVE it.
i'd say panties, waltz real slow and she's seventeen are my favourite songs though (ill see if its possible to send them somehow if your interested)
Im making you eat Red River Hot Cereal. it has tons of FLAX goodness. it's oddly crunchy and chewy too. its fifty times better then oatmeal.
MORE TIGER TEXTS WOOOO!!
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04:02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten
Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around
Tiger:Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
For years. And punish you for not seeing me more
Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything
Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck
Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls
Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question
Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine
Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you
Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity
Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you
Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight
Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe
Tiger:Sent: 07:35 PM 09/08/2009:
Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before i see you tonight
Tiger:Sent: 07:39 PM 09/08/2009:
Parent hood melt down:)
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl
Read More: Porn Star Leaks Her Tiger Woods Sexts | PerezHilton.com http://perezhilton.com/2010-03-18-porn-star-leaks-her-tiger-woods-sexts#ixzz0ijiuRhnF
Celebrity Juice, Not from Concentrate
3/19/10
I think i would do HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE things to remember, or find what that artist said to me a few years back- the lead singer of the band below. I would do horrible things to read it again.
http://www.myspace.com/gloamers
try these guys out
ive been a fan of them for YEARS
YEEEEARS
i adore them
the tulpa
if i consciously turn the things i dislike into something different- something i create, perhaps something out of my imagine, surely, it will become real
44°18'8.05"N - 79°28'0.70"W
I think im going to try to get my grandfather to take me to 1037 tomorrow. It's quite necessary. i'm taking in the air today, that cold wind, that reminds me so much of being at the dock.
You know, it literally burns me to have such a useless day. Again. I'll go for my run, then go to work, then poof, to sleep, then saturday- ill do it all over again. I have a bunch of ideas I've been wanting to take advantage of, like the eyeglass lens, the underground tunnel with yanni (oh god, i really cant wait for that one in particular) (and yes alex, thats the same tunnel I took you to- god knows i adore the place) and honestly, as much as this march break was relaxing, and it got me back into my routine, it was a tease. it was a massive, slutty, whorish tease that was shaking its ass infront of me behind a plane of unbreakable glass. regardless, im going to attempt to make the best of it, somehow. knowing im miserable and stuck is better then thinking everything is good. i hate teases. teases and surprises can go fuck a duck. duck a fuck. quack.
‘Confess to yourself in the deepest hour of the night whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. Dig deep into your heart, where the answer spreads its roots in your being, and ask yourself solemnly, Must I write?’
3/18/10
One of the girls who works at aritzia remembered me because of my key to the cottage. Bahah. I shop there too much.
3/17/10
Oh my god. Today is stunning. I ran in shorts and a tea. I'm sitting outside eating. I'm letting the wind dry my hair. I'm walking to work. It cannot be march.
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